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My backscene silent film from behind the scenes on "Date Night" in Queens NY

I miss this girl! She was fun and blond  and really just want to go back to her.

To Have a blog about your life's journey you need to speak about it right. I am gonna start putting pics from the blast from the past and really bring you more into my life in the future. Set back and enjoy the show of my life.


Thank you dolls


Ashley

Anxiety

Today is one of those difficult days that you dread. It will start off well by me going to a audtion to a skincare line. I love the entertainment side of my life. The other side is hard cause my roomate and I have to see if we are staying in this apartment or not. I am trying to lauch a career and what I am noticing is the factor that I can not sleep because the knots in my back. I really need a massage but there is no time. Sometimes when you feel alone even though I know that I am not it makes you where you can not breath. It makes you tired and you work through the exhaustion but feel there is no end in sight.

Life after Death

When you are in tune with own thoughts, it becomes a very scary thing.  When you younger, you always live your life by the seat of your pants and never worry. People come and go, and you never notice it cause you are working on you not the world. One day you wake up and realize this factor when the ones that you love the most leave you and touch them or them any longer. Since I have been gone from Oklahoma City, every one that I left are no longer there. For different circumstances you do not go back for one reason or another.  But when you do not go home, you never receive the closure that is well deserved to put your mind at rest.  As weird as this sounds when I was in Oklahoma in May I  had to look at their gravestones for the first time and realize that they were gone.. I came home  to bury my grandfather so that closure was there. Almost two months after my visit there my state of mourning still lingers in my soul!! Am I holding on too long or am I justified? 

The Good and Bad of Success

Lately I have been struggling in life with the things that I have always wanted. I have realized that the brink of my success was started by the number 3. The people started the foundation of this career! It was me, my mom Denise and father John! I was speaking to someone last night about my album and broke down crying because the album was made with love and family! It also made me reflect on the "old days". I remember my dad standing in the cold for the auditions while my mother did my makeup!! They were always there!! I always wanted my own record label and now that is coming to play as well! J_Dash  Records name came from the honor of three my dad ,god rest your soul, my mama and me!! But as I get older the journey took on more characters! Vance, my step father could never replace my dad but took the role as role model and friend.  He is always a positive voice when I am about  to throw my hands up in the air! Alan Lee, god rest his soul, taught me how to write and just have fun with it!!!  There is my love Scott!! He is only the blessing that keeps me strong! He has given me love and inspiration. The one person I forgot in this list  is Morty Craft. He is a legend that has taken me under his wing and taught me how to fly! He gave me a new confidence in my voice, myself and taught me how to create without any confinement!  The struggle with this though is loneliness! You reach out to your friends but no one realizes your journey unless they are walking in your shoes! Going back out to the road will relieve the problem !!